The Big Bad Miser and The Raunchy Priest
by Ecchi Nin
Summary: Hidan finds himself testing Jashin's rules when Kakuzu finds him in a very erect situation, and being the opportinuist he is, helps an almost unwilling Hidan with some urgent...solutions. PWP RATED M. Remeber to Review, please.


Name: The Big Bad Miser and The Raunchy Priest

Rated: M

PWP

Warnings: Sex, S&M, Bondage, Slight OOC...maybe, and anything else I throw in the bag.

Disclaimer: I can only wish, but I do not own any characters referenced and used throughout

this story.

Enjoy :

Theme: Hidan finds himself testing Jashin's rules when Kakuzu finds him in a very erect situation, and being the opportunist he is, helps an _almost _unwilling Hidan with some urgent...solutions

Within the dark room, the only sounds were the clang of money, small gruff inaudible whispers and the peaceful light snore of the sleeping figure on the far right side of the small room. A flickering candle lit the desk on the opposite of the sleeping male and the scurrying of hands counting money were blurred with the speed of movement and the lack of reasonable light. The gruff low voice belonged to the masked figure at the desk, a large male at that, reaching far past normal height and size he looked giant next to the medium sized desk, anyone who walked into the room would have felt his intimidating aura. His visible skin was tan and covered in various stitching, a monster of a man. His Red and Green eyes quickly eyed the money, before he stowed it in a safe below the desk. Tensing when he heard the voice of the other male say his name, his voice husky but also sleepy, and when he rolled around in the small twin sized bed, his eyes were still closed proving he was talking in his sleep, the tanned male relaxed and continued counting.

The sleeping male whispered the others name again and then groaned. This male was pale as snow, he looked icy to the touch, with skin so pale large blue veins popped through the albino and the blood could be seen racing through his body. He was a much smaller man, wasn't as large as his roommate actually he was a little less than average height, but he was a lean and toned male. He was unlike the masked man who was wearing the cloak of the Akatsuki and pants, the albino was clad in form fitting light red, almost pink but not quiet briefs and a rosary of Jashin around his neck. His face was attractive and smooth with soft looking features. His pink lips were parted and his eyes were tightly closed, a pink flush crossing his cheeks. His hair was slicked back and flayed out on the pillow. He groaned again and rolled onto his pale back, even in his sleep his he couldn't help but be twitchy, his legs bent and opened as he panted, which gained the Miser in the other corners attention.

"Jashin fuck, I need you." Whispered the albino, opening his legs further, a now slowly forming bulge strained against his briefs. To say the miser was confused would be correct, he watched dumbfounded. He thought maybe Hidan was in a sort of ritual, but Hidan would never give into flesh temptations in front of his God, he concluded the priest was sinning, in his sleep, and was humored at the idea of walking up the albino and mocking him, but as he rose and walked quietly over to the sleeping male, his tan face paled.

"Kakuzu, please, I need you, fuck me you dirty heathen." The Miser held his breath, was Hidanplaying a joke on him? Or was he dreaming about being sodomized by him? He felt almost awkward, he was witnessing himself be part of an intimate moment with Hidan while actually watching it. If he woke the priest now it would be embarrassing for them both, but if he let this continue and watched Hidan thrusting upward as if he was being fucked, he too would be in a very...erect situation. To think of it Kakuzu remembered Hidan ranting about his religion not to long, the priest said he's never had sex nor masturbated, to be fair, Hidan was a virgin who's never once in his life had a orgasm. Kakuzu stalked closer to Hidan, he decided to help the priest have a orgasm, though he is sure Hidan will be enraged, Hidan's antics made him randy and horny, and now the priest would help him with his problem even if he objects to the idea and actions.

Kakuzu stood at the foot of the bed, his hearts were pounding, he would have to stay very quiet while he did this, if Hidan wakes up, he won't ever hear the end of it. So stripping out of his clothes he used the mask he covered his lower face and quickly tied Hidan's hands together, causing Hidan to stir but not wake. Kakuzu let out a breath he had been holding in, he could only imagine being caught standing over Hidan naked and binding his hands together. The miser cautiously crawled onto the bed and found himself looming over the albino. His large hands swiftly pulled down Hidan's briefs but during this action, his fingernail scratched the side of Hidan's thigh, the priest groaned loudly but suddenly his magenta eyes shot open, his gaze went straight towards Kakuzu and before he realized what was happening threads shot everywhere from Kakuzu and wrapped around Hidan's mouth. Bewildered The priest thrashed around, kicking his legs and screaming profanity through the thread gag.

"Hidan." Kakuzu hissed as more threads encircled Hidan's frame rendering him immobile. The albino stopped his tantrum and glared at the stitched man, He continued to yell through the threads, and though Kakuzu couldn't hear him, he just about guessed what he was saying.

"Hidan! Stop...Let me explain. Don't act like the victim you son of a bitch, you were moaning my name in your sleep, opening your legs like a whore and asking me to fuck you like the sinner you were, it's your fault now your dreams coming true, your a freak so you'll probably enjoy this." Kakuzu taunted as he tightened the threads around Hidan's body, feeling the skin break and spilt open from the force. Hidan moaned, the pain felt so good, the smell of blood and sweat made his hunger for this grow, but he wasn't about to sin, he would rather die than dishonor his God.

With a last attempt to escape he used all his strength to kick the miser in the chest, but what he didn't call for was Kakuzu's quick reaction time. Hidan's foot rested in the large tan hands and Kakuzu couldn't help but smirk. " You think you can escape that easy? Hidan, you little zealot your to stupid for your own good." Kakuzu twisted the pale foot in his hands until he heard a snap and watched it fall limp. Hidan's eyes rolled back in his head as he let out a muffled scream, he subconsciously arched his back towards the miser, causing his cock to be pressed against the stitch covered stomach, the rough sensation caused Hidan to pant, his dick was starting to drip with creamy precum, which didn't surprise Kakuzu the least bit. " I always knew you'd be a sick fuck in bed, not that I'm complaining." Kakuzu smirked, and licked his lips, he was going to enjoy this.

"Wait!" Hidan yelled, through the threads but Kakuzu still understood it, letting the zealot speak he freed his mouth of the threads, Hidan panted slightly, his pink eyes glazed over. "Kakuzu, Jashin...I...fuck Kakuzu you bitch, just give me enough pain to please Jashin, thanks to your fucking heathen ass I'm going to have to kill like three hundred virgins tomorrow." Kakuzu chuckled and released Hidan's body from his threads "Good, now Hidan, tell me, in your dream, what was I doing to you." Hidan blushed and bit his bottom lip, his usually cocky and rude facade broke and he was actually for once embarrassed. " You were...Ahh just do whatever the fuck you feel like, hurt me, stick that huge cock into my ass, embarrass me, whip me with your ..erm... fucking tentacle things, I don't care just do something." Kakuzu's eyes narrowed and he bent down over Hidan, his lips brushing past the zealots pale ones, "Tell me what I was doing to you or you can finish yourself off."

Hidan glared but smirked " You were sticking your tongue in my ass while you gave me a hand job, also you sewed my lips shut and told me that if I wanted to get fucked I wouldn't moan, whimper or make any noise, even if I was breathing to fucking loud." Kakuzu looked surprised, he doubted Hidan was a virgin, not many virgins are that imaginative,but this was Hidan, he was a strange one. Hidan's blushed deepened " fucker! Stop staring at me like I'm a fucking world wonder and do something for Jashin's sake." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, but he pressed his lips down onto Hidan's, pushing his tongue past Hidan's lips a exploring every crevasse, Hidan reacted too, his tongue pressed against Kakuzu's wrestling for dominance, at first their game of tonsil hockey was in favor of Hidan but Kakuzu eventually claimed the dominance in the kiss. Hidan was the first to pull back for air, a string of saliva connected them and Hidan used his tongue to sweep it into his mouth. Kakuzu groaned, he wouldn't be able to control himself if Hidan kept turning him on this much, but the way Hidan's cheeks grew a deep blush, those half lidded pink eyes, lusty and needy looking through long eyelashes, and that way Hidan's body twitched was intoxicating to Kakuzu.

Hidan let out a gasped 'fuck' As he felt Kakuzu sit up and then grab his legs and bring them over his shoulders so the zealots knees hooked around them. "Kakuzu, what the hell! " Hidan hissed as he watched Kakuzu's stitched lips form a smirk. "Shut up and don't make a noise, just like I told you in your dream" Hidan's body quivered with need as he shut his mouth, the way Kakuzu said those things to him went straight to already dripping cock, and Kakuzu couldn't help but get turned on at the way Hidan's thigh's convulsed in excitement,or his dick twitched every so often.

Kakuzu spread Hidan's legs apart as far as he could until the little pink puckered entrance was in his view, smirking as it twitched. Kakuzu decided he would torture poor Hidan first so with his right hand he trailed ghost fingers across the shaft of Hidan's dick, before holding the silky head between his fingers and rubbed circles into it. Hidan gasped as his body unconsciously thrust for the hand, begging for it to give him his much needed release. "_Hidan_." Kakuzu whispered as his hand gripped the base of the zealot's cock and pumped it painfully slow "Is this what you want _Hidan_?" He watched Hidan's eyes flutter and the priest nodded his head, his hips thrusting in Kakuzu's hand even at this awkward position. " And this?" Kakuzu said as his threads crawled from his arms, slowly down the pale stomach and sowed Hidan's mouth shut, blood pooling out of the fresh wounds. Hidan moaned loudly and eagerly nodded his head. Kakuzu narrowed his eyes and stopped pumping Hidan's burning cock, which started to turn a angry red with need.

" No talking. Remember?" Kakuzu watched Hidan glare back and flip him off, mumbling something through his stitched lips. Kakuzu pursed his lips together "Oh? Being a naughty boy Hidan?" Hidan smirked and nodded, pushing against the hand still wrapped around his cock with his hips, his pink eyes defiant yet pleading. " Next time you make a noise you'll be punished." Kakuzu hissed as he began moving his hand slowly, pumping Hidan's dick, Hidan shuddered, through the stitches, a pocket of drool slid from his mouth, and his eyes rolled back in his head. Hidan had to bite his tongue to keep himself quiet, and the way Kakuzu warm hand attacked his cock felt like heaven.

Kakuzu gave one last look at Hidan's pleasure ridden face before he dipped his head lower, sticking his tongue out he traced the puckered hole feeling the way it twitched for him. Hidan moaned loudly, he honestly couldn't help it, the way Kakuzu's slippery tongue assaulted his entrance and the way the miser was pumping his cock, it felt to good. Kakuzu continued pushing against the tight ring of muscle, he decided he would let Hidan be vocal, the zealots little mewls and moans went straight for his own neglected dripping cock. Kakuzu gave a small kiss to the pink tight entrance before he let go of Hidan's cock and he pushed Hidan back down and onto his back who whimpered at the loss.

"This is going to hurt." Kakuzu warned as he pressed the leaking head to his cock against Hidan's entrance, first waiting for Hidan to prepare himself. Through even the stitching Kakuzu made out what Hidan said, which was _Stop being a pussy and just fuck me already._, Kakuzu sighed and rolled his eye before he pushed the thick head of his cock into Hidan, who's eyes shut in pain, a thin layer of sweat appeared on his pale body. Kakuzu took note in the way Hidan's ass pushed violently against his intruding cock. "To much?" Kakuzu taunted as he pressed himself inside the zealot completely who ripped his mouth open from the stitches in a loud howl of pain. Hidan was so hot and tight that it took all Kakuzu's strength not to pound Hidan's ass into next week. "Fuck, shit that hurt." Kakuzu frowned " So you can drive a spike through your heart but not get it up your ass?" "Shut up, and move you filthy heathen asshole." Kakuzu grinned, at least Hidan wasn't acing like a baby and took it, which he actually expected Hidan to bitch that it hurts to much and stop him.

Kakuzu pulled out slowly and thrust hastily back in, Hidan groaned weather from pain or pleasure Kakuzu really didn't know or care, he proceeded to thrust his cock into Hidan's ass, not really aiming to find his prostate but he obviously was with the string of curses and moans Hidan was making. "Kakuzu, cum in my ass, don't pull out." Hidan panted, he felt himself grow closer to an orgasm, but held it back, he wanted to make this last, the feeling was amazing the way Kakuzu's dick filled his ass so painfully perfect and and hit that spot that made him see white. Kakuzu started to thrust faster, he was reaching his limit, he felt as if his dick was going to explode and the way Hidan gripped his cock so selfishly with his ass was proving to be to much. He couldn't cum before Hidan though, so he reached his down and stroked Hidan's dick, who obviously enjoyed it with the way his hips met the hand. " Oh Jashin Kakuzu! Fuck I'm about to come." Hidan hissed, Kakuzu just fucked him harder, Hidan cried out as he came, his dick squirted his white sticky cum onto him and Kakuzu, who came into Hidan's ass when he was milked of his own orgasm.

"OH Jashin that...Fuck we stink." Hidan said as Kakuzu pulled out, his cum leaking from Hidan's stretched red ass onto his bed. Blood covered Hidan's face and thighs and Kakuzu couldn't help but feel proud of the mess he made of Hidan, who was looking at him through those long eyelashes, his hair disheveled and covered in cum, Kakuzu smirked "Ready for round two?" Hidan could only grin back and open his legs as far as they could go, " Not too fucking old are you? Don't want you having a fucking heart attack on me now." Kakuzu scoffed " I can last longer than you can."

"No you fucking can't."

"Stop bitching."

"Fuck you."

"Hidan. Grow up."

"Just fuck me."

"...Fine."

The night proceeded to be sinful and steamy...Hidan couldn't walk for a week, and..well Kakuzu felt like he was 70 years younger.

_R&R_

_I rushed this one alittle because I wanted to get it done and posted before I had to clean out my apartment ;/ but I had the most fun with this pairing because I will admit I am a **major **KakuzuHidan Fan._

_I'm also aware that I have made alot of spelling errors, I'm kinda too lazy to fix them, and I'm the only on who reads over my stories so sometimes I miss things, but I try to keep them grammar correct most of the time._

_THANK YOU TOO ALL MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS, I'm so giddy that my stories are actually being read, and so far I've gotten very nice reviews, so because you all made me happy I will write more and more PWP, I'm also starting a actually story so lets see how that goes, but seriously, thank you guys ;D_

_This is part of my Akastuki Porno Fiction Or APF :3 Anyway I will write pointless smut of each pairing I can think of in the Akastuki. _

_You tell me who you want to see who sex ;o_


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